I want to share an experience that has been happening in my life recently but it is one that is very close to many people's hearts. This post is not meant to offend in anyway shape or form. I am writing this because it has been something that has affected me, and now is a part of my life. And because this is sort of like a journal for me and almost therapeutic.
Recently I have lost very dear co-worker. But saying co-worker is not nearly a strong enough word for this friend. Due to some emotional roller coasters in his life he decide it was his time to go. He left behind a beautiful wife and an adorable little boy, plus the many friends and family who loved him very much. As you know I have recently lost my grandmother. And although her death was hard, it was such a comfort and a blessing to know that is was her time to go. She lived a long and a great life. I think that is why this lost is so hard to handle, my friend was very young and his life was cut so short.
Here is were this post becomes difficult to write. In my life I have experienced times in my life where I have felt so low and so dead inside. Where I thought that taking my life would be much easier then to continue on living it. I know that feeling of despair, where "going on" seems to much to handle. I obviously made it out of that fog because I'm still here today to write this post. With the help of some loving parents and some amazing church leaders I overcame that pit of despair. But the biggest help came for my Father in Heaven.
This death came as a complete shock and it opened my eyes completely. I am now on the other side, asking questions of why's? Why on earth someone would want to do this? and what could I have done differently? The thing is, we don't know Why, and I probably did everything thing I could have done. But what has affected me the most is now I know what my family and my friend would have experienced if I had completed the thought process I was thinking. I now know what it feels like to loss someone you care about because they decide it was much easier to take their life then to go on living it.
So What I'm going to take away from this experiences is this:
Never assume you know what people are thinking and going through. You don't always know people's circumstances.
Always be a shoulder to cry on. I wish I could have been there for him, like so many people were there for me.
Never think that life is so hard that I can't get through it. There is always someone out that that is experiencing something much more darker than I am.
Always live life to the fullest. Everyday is a blessing and I don't want to take that for granted.
I also wanted to express my condolences to his family and loved ones. He was a great guy. He loved his family very much, that will never be questioned. And he will be missed by many.